Halloween Oneshots
by User724
Summary: My pathetic attempt at Inktober oneshots.
1. Costumes

**Timestamp: October 2098 (1-2 months after Blue Sky)**

"So according to the twins, the amount of candy you get is directly proportional to the coolness of the costume. With that in mind, what do you think of this?"

Wheatley came down the stairs, wearing tattered clothing he _definitely _didn't have permission to cut up. As he came into view, Chell saw he had makeupped his face to be deathly pale, and...was that a _stab wound?_

"No" she said reflexively (her tightly controlled voice always seemed to malfunction when it came to Wheatley). "No?" Wheatley repeated. "What d'you mean no? You have something against ghosts?"

"Forget it." Chell said shortly

"No way! If I can't wear this costume I wanna know why!"

"Wheatley, drop it."

"Please, just tell me-"

"You looked dead, ok?" Chell blurted (_Blurted? _Something was definitely wrong with her). "You looked...dead."

"Yeah, that's kinda the point of gho-_oh_." Wheatley's patented worst-case imagination conjured an image of Chell, her torn jumpsuit spattered with blood, all life drained from her face, eyes blank but somehow still full of hurt because the last thing she saw of him was_-nope, you are _not _going there, brain. Not today. _"I didn't think of that." He finally said. "If it helps, I don't wanna see you dead either."

There it was, another one of the odd, seemingly obvious statements that meant so much to them both. Chell nodded, and they gazed at each other for a moment, each thinking how glad they were that the other was alive.

"So, I do have two backup costumes. Are you feeling fairy, or garden gnome?"


	2. Jumpscares

"Trick or teeth-er, treat!"

Approximately 10 minutes after the costume incident, Wheatley (dressed as a fairy lawn gnome), was ready for trick or treating...or at least the treats.

"Boo!"

"Gyah!" Wheatley jumped at least a foot in the air as the Hattfield twins made their presence known."You scared the firewall outta me!"

"Well duh!" Said Max (or was it Jason?) "That's the whole point of Halloween!"

"You get treats.." said Jas-Max-the other one.

"And you do tricks!" They finished together.

A mischievous smile appeared on Wheatley's face. "Why don't you show me how it's done?"

"Just follow our moves, and sneak around, be careful not to-"

*Crack*

"Don't even think about it!" Garret called

"Dangit! Who put that stick there?"

**"**Wheatley**," **Romy said, fighting a smile, "You do know I live with the twins every day, right?"

"Hey Wheatley!" Ellie called from five feet ahead.

"...?"

_"Well, that's the last of them." _Wheatley thought. _"Congratulations champ, you didn't scare a single person! That's gotta be some sort of record!"_

Wait, there was one more. Chell was over by the store truck, absorbed in a conversation with Aaron. _"The perfect target." _His metaphorical devil said.

_"Do it." _The angel agreed.

Carefully, avoiding sticks, Wheatley crept towards his target, taking a long path to avoid her line of sight. _"For once, the gazelle will surprise the tiger, or am I more of a giraffe? Nevermind."_

Finally, he was right behind her. Taking a deep breath, he grabbed her shoulder. "Surprise!"

Chell whirled around, murder in her eyes.

_"This was a _terrible _ide-"_

**Pow!**

"Ughh…" Wheatley said, dazed but conscious, awkwardly pulling himself up from the ground. "I suppose I deserved that." Chell agreed. How could he have thought it was a good idea to sneak up on her? How could he not have forseen that, for just a moment, she would be back _There_, caught in yet another trap -

_"Oh, he's bleeding."_

"Never do that again." Chell said matter-of-factly, helping him up.

"Jeez, we could have _told _you that was a bad plan!" The twins chimed in ('_Why are there four of them?" _Wheatley thought.), "You need to pick your battles!" The two Maxes continued.

"I'm just impressed he got the jump on her!" Said double Jason.

"I think we've had enough tricks for tonight." Chell said. Wheatley didn't argue, and as they walked home, he squeezed her hand to let her know he understood.


	3. Scary Stories

_"They say that the old ghost ship was never seen again, except on the full moon in February, when brave sailors can board her, if they dare."_

Garret finished.

"Well, I think that's everyone," Aaron said, "which means the winner of this ghost story contest is-"

"Wait!" Chorused the twins. "You forgot us!"

"And me!" Wheatley chimed in "I wanna try!"

"Ok, ok." Aaron acquiesced "Wheatley first."

"Woohoo! One ghost story coming right up." _"Now, where to start?" _His previous attempt at a scary story was kind of a complete failure, he apparently needed something scarier than malfunctioning robots.

Wait….aha!

_"It was a dark and stormy night. A mad scientist was working on his latest evil project..."_

**Wheatley chuckled to himself, only two more minutes and he would have the perfect test subjects, and just in time too! **

***Ding* went the assembly machine.**

_"He had made a swarm of terrible..bug-crab things, made to crawl everywhere and mess with any machines they could find."_

**The first frankenturret crawled awkwardly out of the assembly machine...then tried to crawl back in. Wheatley didn't notice, but the mechanism was now jammed on.**

_"Unfortunately, they seemed more interested in wrecking the scientist's stuff than anything else!'_

**The frankenturrets refused to walk onto the buttons, but they went **_**everywhere **_**else. They waddled off cliffs, got stuck in panels, they even jammed his meticulously placed vacuum tubes!**

_"Then, the little scamps started _breeding! _Try as he might, the mad scientist couldn't get rid of them!"_

**After the two thousand and fifty sixth frankenturret, Wheatley went to shut down the machine. But of course, it was jammed!**

"_Soon the whole lab was filled with the creatures, they came out of the vents, they burrowed under the floor and into the walls, and when they got bored of that, they swarmed their creator!"_

**The whole factory was filled with frankenturrets. They were all the Vital Apparatus Vents would dispense, they crawled in all the Ratt dens, they even got into Wheatley's lair! It was all he could do to keep Chell and PotatOS from seeing them on the monitors.**

"_When the cops came to arrest him, a part of him was relieved. Now his inventions were someone else's problem. He pitied the poor fool that would buy his building. "_

**It sucked in space, but at least Wheatley got some vindictive pleasure out of imagining **_**Her **_**trying to clean out all the frankenturrets.  
**

"The End." Wheatley finished. "What did you think? Clear winner, right?"

"Ehhh…" Went the twins.

" 'eh'? Whatta you mean 'eh'? That was a top notch 4 and a half stars with over 6 hundred reviews ghost story!"

"You were doing good until the end," Twin 1 said, "Why didn't he unleash them on the world?"

"Uh...they ate the 'unleash on the world' button?"

"Ehhh.." The twins chorused.

"Well I suppose you can do better?'"

"As a matter of fact…"

"_Once upon a time, there was a little town called Derry…"_

10 Minutes later.

"L-look at that!" Wheatley said, shuddering. "You c-can do better! W-we have a winner folks!"


End file.
